Thursday, December 22, 2011

21 Things continued....

10. I love to make lists. I like setting goals. Making lists and setting goals (regardless of attainment) give me a sense of control in such an uncontrollable world!

11. It would be so much easier to NOT watch what I eat. Crappy food is cheaper and easier to come by…
12. I suffer from the “chronic blues” (also known to some as depression). I don’t take medication for it; although in the past I gave it a shot. The mediation helped at first. Then “those” feelings crept back in and all the the dr wanted to talk about “The lil girl inside” (Yes I am rolling eyes at that). Then my insurance ran out and the pills were going to be like $120 a month and who knows what the office visit was going to be. I quit taking them cold turkey; yes-big NO NO but it did teach me a valuable lesson about drugs and reliance. These days I search for “natural” blues busters. Exercising and half marathons are a couple of them and most of the time "all is good in my world."
13. I love the number 13…always have.
14. I can’t hardly believe Christmas is just 3 days away. Ok, 2 and some change.

15. My years are not January to December. Somehow, especially when it comes to setting goals, it’s October to September…
16. I’m not fond of Christmas. Christmas is overwhelming to say the least. And OF COURSE right after Christmas is New Year’s and while I’m excited about the NEW part (despite “my” year being Oct to Sept) it makes me anxious.

17. I LOVE getting older. The older I get the more comfortable, confident, and outgoing I become. Ok, maybe not “outgoing” but I’m more willing to try new and different things. There’s too many opportunities available to stay hiding and timid and anxious and with your head in the sand.
18. I got the most adorable Christmas card in the mail today from a coworker that works out of our KC area office. Totally out of the blue and I’m totally grateful. I am the POC for a computer program that doesn’t really work 100%. There’s been a shit load of hiccups this past year and I’ve gotten a shit load of phone calls (not all nice). For 98% of the calls I’ve kept my composure and not snapped or cursed (until I got off the phone). This coworker wanted me to know that she recognized my patience and appreciates it. How’s THAT for AWESOME!
19. Still not fond of Christmas despite the awesome card.
20. I bought my treadmill 2 years ago and have used it a whopping 10 times. Ouch.
21. I was baptized Catholic; brought up Christian; Confirmed Lutheran at 25. I haven’t told my folks yet but I’m considering going back to the Catholics.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

9 of 21 Things

I snagged this idea from another blogger (Byzbee)...I started on it Friday but didn't get too far. I'll work on the others as time permits but for NOW..this is what you get!! :O) Happy Sunday!

Twenty One Things:

1: I’ve NEVER been a “typical” girl. I’ve dabbled in what I call “typicalness” but never jumped both feet. I love to buy cute shoes (wedges are my fave), sexy and cute clothes, and a shit load of make-up; but rarely will you find me wearing any of it. Putting deodorant on is a challenge! I typically wear jeans, tennis shoes, sweatshirts and my hair in a ponytail. When I do put my “face on” and wear me some “cutesie” clothes it’s rarely “just because”. About the only thing real girlie is the fact that I love romantic comedies.

2: My mother always said that I was either going to be a truck driver or a sailor (mainly because of my potty mouth and my love for strong drinks) but she said nothing about marrying one (got me a now retired sailor)! One who rarely cusses, rarely drinks, and has no tattoos.

3: I am a closet attention whore. I want it, it being everything, to be ALL ABOUT ME. I want people’s full attention when they are around me. I want people to take into consideration how I might feel before decisions are being made that will affect me. As we all know, it's NEVER all about one person ALL the time. I understand this and accept it...but when no one is looking I throw an "It's all about me party."  It's a great party...and I have a boat load of party for one!
4: I’m lazy. Yeah-you read that right. Given the opportunity I would be one lazy mo-fo. I wouldn’t do nothing. Nada. Zilch.

5: I have a terrible perception of time and quite often lose track of time very easily. What seems to me like 15 minutes is in reality 45 minutes.

6: On my wedding day, as I turned the corner to walk down the aisle, I saw my life flash before my eyes and I proceeded to bawl my eyes out. To this day that moment haunts me and I wonder“did I make the right decision!??” There is no guide for a “good marriage”; there is no “happily ever after”; But there IS a LOT of compromise. We just celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary and I still feel sorry for the SOB. Out of all the people in the world to marry he got me. Of course, he very well could be saying the same thing (“that poor girl never saw it comin! Out of all the people in the world to marry she got me!”).

7: The doctor says I’m 5 foot 4 and my driver’s license says 5 foot 6. My hubs says he’s 5 foot 9 but is only 2 inches taller than me. Who do YOU believe? J

8: I enjoy doing family history. Over the last 15 years I’ve stayed up late countless nights attempting to “trace the family roots”. I think I’ll save up to pay someone ELSE to trace the roots and report back to me.

9: I have a lousy sense of humor. I grew up in a very strict, uncomfortable house. We were never encouraged to laugh and jokes were always on us. Much of “it” carried over into adulthood. I’ve never learned the art of humor and when I try to be “funny” it doesn’t always come across as “funny”.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

I can do this

I can do this. I’ve done it before. The difference this time around is that I’m not just sweeping crap under the carpet or applying a Band-Aid to fix the wound. I’ve identified the problem (I like to spend money I don’t have and or eat junk to make myself feel better) and have identified solutions to FIX the crap (reading, blogging, exercising, writing a budget, part time job).

With no extra income coming in and purchasing NO extravagant items (ie new car, clothes I don’t need, purchases for others to “show I love them”) I can have all the “excess baggage” paid off (realistically) in 20 to 24 months. And I’ll be honest that that seems like forever. And yes, I’m embarrassed. I’d say that “why” keeps crossing my mind but I already know the answer to that. I just need to remove my head from my rear end. Could be why my rear end is still so big!! Ha ha ha..just kidding! Anyhow, I do pray that I can get a part time job…preferably teaching (since that’s what I’ve gotten the ok through my full time job to pursue as “outside” employment). If I can get a part time gig teaching I can bring in a minimum added 450 (that’s after taxes) plus a month. It doesn’t seem like much BUT I have to be careful how much more I add to my plate (because I’d really like to continue to volunteer with Cardinals Care).

As for my weight and the 7 lbs I’ve gained in 2 ½ months…I’m chasing the wagon. I’m just about back on the wagon but that whole “head in rear end thing” clouded my vision. I blame the new boss but I’m a big girl and let myself slip. I’m not sure if I was trying to “test myself” or not but it wasn’t needed. I know I have to write everything down (food wise) in order to hold myself accountable. Period. I also need to pre plan my exercise in order to come close to accomplishing it. And I need to follow up with what I actually did. I have a hundred and some days until my next ½ marathon-I need to get on it!

Here's to small rears and fuller bank accounts!!

Thursday, December 8, 2011

On the right path...

Been listening to Dave Ramsey the last few mornings/weeks. Talk about tough love…and inspiring. I CAN do this…all of it…I just have to use the discipline I know I have. “Do what you gotta do to beat this” “Live now like no other so that later you can live like no other” “if it were easy everyone would do it”. So much of what he says can be used in every aspect of life. I swear I will play his book/podcasts and the other “motivational” podcasts over and over and over so that I can keep myself on the path to freedom. Freedom from debt, freedom from fat, freedom from the demons.

Today I worked on my budget during lunch. Right now it doesn't look good and I had to repeat over and over (and over) that "everything" will be alright. I just have to stay focused and use discipline.

Power to the people!! Take your life back...I'm taking mine!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Nope...not today....

Ummm so, I got up at 530 as planned. Took the dogs out as planned. Never made it to the treadmill though. But I DID stay in the upright position. And I took the pups for a mile walk (vs their normal 1/2 mile) before work. So I might be making progress. or am I making excuses again (as I cringe and slowly back away from the computer)?

So how long before a "routine" is set? gonna have to stop dancing away from the treadmill. What's wrong with it? does it...smell? I dunno...I really don't know. It's a nice treadmill...only two years old...has presets and intervals (sp?) doesn't have a name though..could that be the problem? I don't like it because I don't know it's name?

Monday, December 5, 2011

And let's me not forget...

that it's time to knock the bs off!  On top of the December goals here in my earlier post I need to include a few more.

  • lose 7 lbs
  • track my food NO MATTER what the food is (I've fallen off the tracking wagon-time to jump back on)
  • jog 4 miles a week
Tim's work schedule will now be 630 to 3; which means we will be getting up at 530. And Since going back to sleep is a BAD idea I'm going to attempt to reacquaint myself with the treadmill. I'm not sure how well it will go BUT I will put forth my best effort. Heck, what else do I have to do at 530 in the morning after walking the dogs?

My time flies...

…I’d say “when we’re having fun” but truthfully-that saying is a crock o’poo! I’m not saying that I don’t “have fun” but fra’zizzle-not on a minute by minute basis. Especially when I’m you know where, with a you know who, up my you know what. No-I’m not talking about the hubs. I’m talking about HIM. The one I have the deal with 8hrs a day 5 days a week. I’m very thankful I LOVE my job cuz if I didn’t I’d tell that one off and walk away.

Anywho…on a happier note I’ve gotten approval through work to apply for “outside” employment. I’ve submitted my resume’, transcripts, application etc to my Alma mater for an online teaching position. So fingers crossed that a position comes open for me to teach. I’ll be using the extra money to pay off the credit card bills, then to pay off my student loans. If I’d known who well teaching their paid I would have applied sooner. Seriously-it’s that great. To me anyhow considering I don’t have to leave home to do it. I can send the hubs to bed on Friday night and stay up ALL night grading etc. Speaking of hubs he ticked me off when I was explaining the hiring process. Told him there is a 2 day workshop in Columbia that I’ll need to go to and then “shadow” someone for 3 weeks on the D2L. He was miffed that that was “all” the experience needed to teach and what a crock and how he’ll never take another online class because “no wonder his online experience sucked before.” I wanted (and tried) to explain to him that you have to have a degree for what your teaching but I decided it wasn’t worth the argument. I don’t want him in my class anyway!

I know that it’s already the 5th of December but it’s time to go over November goals and decide on December goals. Looking back I seem to have done better than I thought. I had four (4) goals (run/walk 50 miles, de clutter file cabinet, paint bathroom, and apply to cc). I completed two of the four and about half of one of the others. Not bad…can you guess which ones got completed? Go ahead-guess. I’ll send those who guess correctly a lil surprise (you’ll have to send me your address of course).

Ok for December…what to do what to do….

  • Review my spending and outline a budget for 2012
  • Get charitable contribution list for 2011 taxes typed
  • Be done with “Christmas” shopping and mailing by the 15th of Dec
  • Stop, Shut up, Listen, breath, breath, then respond
  • Journal/blog 17 days in December

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Note to self-When in doubt....check this out

I admit...I was a lil depressed for some odd reason. One of the reasons is I've not been exercising like I should. Another is I forget how far I've come. So when in doubt I need to check these photos out...



Thank you all (especially Kate these last few weeks) for helping to keep me motivated. To all of you on my blog roll now (worth the read section) and in the future....Thank you ALL for helping to keep me grounded, focused, and inspired.