Ten Things Thursdays

1) I’ve become a bit obsessed with “becoming more organized” and “planning”. I’ve always been a clutter bug and used to love to “fly by the seat of my pants”. Not so much anymore…I’ve got calendars EVERYWHERE and panic when I see a pile of things!

2) I’m getting a bit nervous about the financial sit-ye-ation of our surroundings. I’m trying to be more frugal because of all this “financial uncertainty” (that honestly has always been there/here/around us) but struggling to come to terms with “use cash not plastic”. I NEED to write up and stick to a budget!

3) I recently heard on the radio (in reference to the national budget issue) that basically “compromising is for losers”. They need to decide what you want and fight for it. Period. At first I nodded “yeah I can see that” but now I’m not so sure. Those people in DC aren’t fighting for us or our rights or what’s in the best interest of our wonderful nation (I normally don’t talk politics but…)…they are once again thinking about themselves, about what can make THEM more money (you notice they haven’t froze their pay nor offered to take a pay cut but have asked all of us to do so) and about how THEY can put more control/restraints on our lives. So why not compromise and shut up already. I understand that if they make the wrong compromise that they aren’t really solving anything, just prolonging the inevitable but arguing like they are isn’t solving anything either.

4) I also need to stop trying to be a martyr. I’m no Mother Theresa, I will never be Mother Theresa, and sometimes it’s ok for me to tell someone “NO…(I don’t know, don’t have, can’t get it, or won’t give it to you)”…I’m giving others too much emotional power-emotional power that they didn’t even ask to have over me in the first place.

5) While I don’t want to be retired or a stay at home person I’d REALLY like to make my own work schedule. I LOVE my job and LOVE my co-workers; I just wish I could do more work from home.

6) I have doggie anxiety. I don’t like leaving my lil guy at home by himself and we’re bringing another pup home tomorrow night. I sometimes have to drive around the block THREE times just to “make sure” the garage door is down. I’ve even started sending a photo of the closed door to my work email in an attempt to ease my mind. My current lil guy is the only living thing in this world who will listen to me without interrupting, kiss and cuddle when I ask, is so excited to see me when I get home that he whimpers and wags his butt; he loves me with no boundaries and lets me know that on a daily basis. And I have never worried/felt like I didn’t deserve his love.

7) It’s so friggin hot outside. Each year I say “I don’t remember it being this hot last year” even when it probably was. The weather zaps me of any desire to do any real work or exercise or fun project.

8) I just filled out the form for the Cowbell Half Marathon on Oct 2^nd. All I have left to do is write the check (I’m using my birthday money) and mail it. I would have signed up online but I was too cheap to pay the 3.75 fee for doing so. Writing the check saves me $3.25. J

9) I’m afraid I will always think of myself as the fat chick even when I get to my goal weight (which I am 20 to 30 lbs away from). Even after losing 48 plus pounds I still look in the mirror and see fat. It can be a bit overwhelming. The only reason I haven’t given up is because at low points God has a way of presenting me with what I would consider an unhealthy individual (you know the 250 plus gal in tight shorts and a tube top or the one huffy and puffing after a short walk). I’m very glad that they are comfortable and accepting of their size but it’s a great visual motivator for me to attempt to stay on point.

10) I’d really like to take others out of my equation. I don’t want to be a judger of others and what appears to be their life decisions; I don’t want to be an assumer of others and what their life appears to be; I don’t want to be “one of those people” who acts/thinks they are so much better than someone else. Because I’m not and I will never be. I’m so NOT perfect that it tears me up inside and the emotional baggage is often too heavy to carry. I can’t answer for others decisions so why do I use any brain waves considering their life even for a moment!!

Beat the Heat week 4 (click the BTH button to the right to go to the host page)

1. What have you done this week towards your goals?


Not really a whole lot…been a lil selfish with “my” time….course it’s been exceptionally hot and I’ve not wanted to do much; which reflected itself in my weight. Weigh in days are Tuesday. Last Tuesday I was down 1.4 (bringing me to 18.2 lbs to go)…then this Tuesday I gained a pound (bringing me to 19.2 to go). Not sure really how I gained but I did drink a lot of water on Monday so maybe that has something to do with it. I have read some more of my “get organized” book and it seems to be doing the trick. I haven’t signed up for the Oct 2nd moo cow half marathon…Maybe I’ll do that today?

2. What did you do to make yourself feel fabulous?

Ummm…mainly the pedicure I got Friday night!! And (surprise) I took Friday off (again). This will be my last Friday off “just because”. I didn’t have near as much to get done “right this minute” at home and was bored by 2 pm. But it was fun while it lasted…or should I say; fun to give a try!

3. Do you exercise? What is your favourite kind and why?

I do not exercise. I hate exercising. I have always viewed exercising as something painful and something “I was forced to do” (my father was in the military and there for a while life at home was like boot camp) and that surely no one ever exercise because it’s fun and they like it. And If it ain’t fun I ain’t doin it! Period. I am very stubborn like that. I do like to walk, hike and bike. And I’ve been trying to make joggin fun. But I’m terrible at “making myself do it” (because I’m just THAT busy..not). Then of course there is thing called “heat wave of 2011”. Yes, excuses are like a’holes-we’ve all got one!

4. There are loads of fantastic bloggers here in the Beat the Heat competition, which blog or blogs have you discovered through the challenge that you particularly enjoy? Show that person some love!

I’ve really only found one new blog during Beat the Heat that I now read on a regular basis and that’s Weight Wars (who is hosting the BTH challenge). It’s a very very good blog. I do read other blogs that participate with BTH that I’ve already been following (Timothyology for one) and I have read a few others participating in BTH but again the only new one I’m following is faithfully is Weight Wars. One of these days I will find more blogs that I “click” with that are doing the challenges but not right now….as sad as it sounds….my time management skills are still not up to par and keeps me from being able to focus, absorb, respond to others. Make sense?

5. Fun Question: What song makes you want to dance at the moment?

Just about any 80’s song will make me dance. The 80’s and early 90’s were REAL GOOD for music-upbeat, fun, whimsical!! Ahh…them were the days!

Picture of the week is of Peyton (instead of my beautiful pedicure! :) )...if you can't tell-I'm a dog person!! Peyton is my Frankie's half brother and about a month older than my Frankie...my Frankie comes home Friday night so prepare for an over abundance of dog photos!!

Beat the Heat week 3

1. What have you done this week to work towards your goals?

oh boy...not a real good week for "working towards my goal"; at least not the lose 20lbs. I gained .8 (so now I am at 19.4 lbs to lose). I haven't signed up for the moo moo 1/2 marathon either. :O) I have been reading my "101 ways to help you get organized"...a great book! I had a garage sale this week with items I found to be cluttering our home. Made $84 too! woot woot. The final goal, utilize monthly calendars for weight, personal, and financial goals is coming along. So I guess I've been working on them more than I thought! And transformations don't happen over night right!? Takes baby steps over a slight span of time?

2. What have you done this week to make you feel fabulous?

I took Friday off again. And this time a friend of mine and I went to the spa and had hour long massages. BEST. HOUR. EVER!!! Totally worth blowing all my garage sale money! and we went for sushi afterwards!

3. I wrote about gadgets this week (my fav one anyway), do you have any gadgets that help you to your goals or are you a low tech kinda person?

I'm a total gadget person. I have a nook, smartphone, garmin, ipod....all of them help me move towards my goal. One lets me read books to better myself, another lets me track my food, another lets me track my distance and pace, and the other keeps me boppin when my bop is all gone!!

4. We are half way through the year, what have you achieved so far (in all aspects of life)?

Well so far this year I have 28 more pounds (for a total of 48 lbs lost), shaved a half hour off my half marathon finish time, I'm just about "clutter free", and I feel so much smarter and cuter!

5. Fun Question: Tell me one of your secrets to achieving goals and living a happy life?

My biggest secret is that I've stopped beating myself up when I don't achieve a goal; especially as it pertains to my weight. Weeklly I input my weight into WW and I don't cry like a lil baby when I've gained. I don't even cry when I only lose .2 lbs. If I make a bad decision at work or with my finances I simply state "ok that wasn't right. It's ok, don't do it again." Self loathing did NOTHING positive for me and certainly didn't inspire me to achieve more!

Positive picture of the week is:

My two fave men...without them my life would have very little meaning.
I've learned so much from both of them and will cherish them always!

send help...stat!!

I've lost my mind......

and swept good choices under the rug...

yesterday I ate half of this.....

and today I finished it!!!

and if you can't tell what "it" is, it is a strawberry shortcake with yellow cake as the cake part....

oh...and I have a tummy ache as I write this!!!

BADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Tori....

but it was SOOO good yesterday!

Beat the Heat week 2

1. What progress have you made on your goals this week?

Lost 1.4 lbs; read a few more pages of “101 to get organized”; looked at one of my calendars (the one I managed to make) and started on the “use it or lose it”…we’re having a garage sale this weekend! I also started creating my exercise and financial goal calendars.

2. What did you do to make yourself feel fabulous?

I took Friday the 8^th of July off (annual leave not sick) from work. No hubby at home, just me and the dog watching tv and eating delicious non point friendly food! Then that afternoon I met up with a pal from work at the casino for an hour before the baseball game. Then I met the hubs at the ball park and continued to eat non point friendly food. No worries, I logged all my points eaten!! It was a really really wonderful day. So stress free….

3. Did you have a moment in your life where everything changed for you, an epiphany moment, or has it happened gradually?

A lil of both for me. I knew I needed to make changes (emotionally, physically)…and periodically would try things to make positive changes (started walking more, blogging, drinking more water). While these little changes “helped” they didn’t make a huge difference (IMO)..not the difference I was yearning for. Then one day I woke up and said to myself “I’m joining weight watchers today. They’ve got 3 months to change my life. I’ll follow their program but if in 3 months…” I’ve not looked back. It was the best thing for me and has brought everything I’ve learned together.

4. What made you get involved with the Beat The Heat challenge?

I was getting off track and not holding myself accountable goal wise. Talk is cheap ya know…writing it down and showing the world (IMO) says “put up or shut up!”

5. What is your favourite TV Show at the moment?
Big Brother 13. I’m a bit of a reality TV nerd…besides it being something that takes few brain cells to follow, those folks ALWAYS seem to make my life look and feel NORMAL!!

Happy photo of the week.....

my birthday lunch!! worth all 28 pts!!

BEAT THE HEAT...week one

1. What are your goals for the 10 week challenge?

1. Lose 20lbs
2. Sign up for and train for Cow Bell Half Marathon Oct 2nd (time to beat is 3hrs)
3. Finish reading 101 Ways to Get Organized and Women Food and God
4. Utilize monthly calendars for personal goals, weight related goals, and quarterly calendar for financial goals

2. Why did you pick those goals? What makes them important right now?

I'm not really sure why I picked THESE goals but I feel compelled to achieve them now in my life. They are important because I feel like they will allow me to have a little more control over my immediate environment. I feel like if I focus on MY goals I won't be so concerned about what others are (or are not) doing! Just keepin it real ya know!

3. What’s your biggest excuse reason for not doing something and how are you going to stop it getting in the way?

Piss poor planning on my part is the excuse/reason I use for not doing something. If I utilize better organizational skills I shouldn't have some lame ass excuse (not enough time, not enough money, not enough emotions left) for not achieving.

4. Are you a planner or do you go with the flow?

I'm actually a total planner. I'm so much of a planner that I often have a plan b, plan c, plan d to fall back on if plan a falls through! Also, I'm not much of a follower and if I'm to keep it real, I never have been a follower.

5. Fun thing Tell us something that will help us get to know you.  Like things you like or a silly story or about your family?

Fun? Seriously? Fun isn't in my vocabulary and hasn't been since the early 90's when life was so much simpilier (although back then I though it just "so hard and couldn't get any worse!"). Sure I didn't have a lot of money but I sure did have my freedom to come and go with no regards to anyone else in my house (because there was no one in my house!!). Ah if only I knew then what I know now!! :O)

Positive picture of the week...

getting kisses from my lil frankie man....excuse the no make up...I'm not big on face paint even though I'd look a heck of a lot younger if I put it on!!

In like a lion...

Well, July has charged in like a lion! Besides being hot enough to cook an egg off the pavement I slammed my pointy finger in the car door! Not sure how that happened but it makes typing a pain!

I've had some pretty good days emotionally and feel really refreshed mentally. I honestly do feel like I can accomplish so much! Sadly I still see a fat chick in the mirror but it hasn't "affected me" (ie making me want to say f it and quit my weight loss journey because I can't SEE what others see). Now if I could just get remotivated on jogging. I'm thinking I may need to sign up for a 1/2 marathon to jump start my motivation. It's so sad that I have to PAY for something like that to get me off my duff! Oh well, whatever works works.

Recently I saw an older neighbor who I hadn't seen in quite some time. She said "I noticed you lost a lot of weight and have been hoping to get to talk to you-how did you do it?" I told her weight watchers and you'd a thought I kicked her dog! Evidently she had been on weight watchers before (and lost weight) but when the new points plus came out she couldn't get used to it and started gaining. She even told me she was hoping I'd say I was taking a magic pill! It really disappoints me when people pray for a magic pill that will melt the weight off. How quickly people forget that they didn't gain it over night and that these things take time. I tried to talk to her a bit, about things I was doing and even suggested that she go back to the old points system. She wasn't listening and it became evident that she didn't want advice or the truth. That disappoints me too but I also realize that people are going to do what they want and have to find out what works for them. and only THEY know what will work for them. Know what I mean jelly bean?

Ok..gotta run...I'm supposed to be asleep! But before I go here is a picture of lil frankie at six weeks...What a doll he is!!

shameless promotion?

I'm just spreading the word to as many places I can think of...I am participating in a fund raising event; something I'm not real great at. But I'm working on.  So if you have a couple of dollars you don't know what to do with, please consider going to the following link http://www.cardinalscare.org/cardinalscarecampaign2011/victoriajalexander. The charity in question is "Cardinals Care-the St. Louis Cardinals’ non-profit foundation dedicated to caring for kids! Thanks to your generous assistance, Cardinals Care is able to build baseball fields, support youth baseball teams, and provide cash grants to children’s agencies. Since its inception in 1997, we have distributed more than $16 million to support organizations in and around St. Louis. "

When you get to my page (click link above) you will read

"Please consider making a donation of any size as it will all go to Cardinals Care. For those of you willing to pledge $40 or more, I'm willing to wear a goofy/tackie/eye catching costumed themed item during the run, as long as it's tasteful and appropriate (I'm not wearing clothes that are too risque, 8 sizes too small or large or a heavy coat). I will ensure that someone will be there to take several pictures for those of you who can't make it to witness the race first hand. Donate early as only the first six people donating $40 or more will have a say in the race day outfit. Options include a red/blue hair, shirt of your choice, hat/headband of your choice, wristbands of your choice, shorts of your choice, socks of your choice, suspenders, a sign taped to my back or even (heaven forbid) an opposing teams logo!

Again, thank you for clicking the link and checking out this race. It's a wonderful charity; one that helps more than just the local community.

Remember, If you do decide to donate $40 or more shoot me an email so we can discuss your costume of choice (timandtori2@aol.com). Also, feel free to forward the link on to your friends/family."

Hopefully the "idea" of dressing me in an opposing teams logo will get my Chicago Cubs loving family to donate!! :O)