So far the year is going well....at least I have no real complaints. Unless I'm referring to work....but we won't go into that because my focus is on being more grounded, making more time for family/me, and "letting go" of "Things". Oh and getting out of my comfort zone.
Jan 1st I sold the treadmill, on Jan 14th I joined the Y (& have been going every Tues/Thurs), and have tried to put more focus on me (ie having a more positive disposition; finding my purpose;blah blah blah). Some moments it feels selfish to focus on my needs but I remind myself that I'm really of no use to anyone if I can't find my "happy" (besides who wants to be around a grumpy pants!). This doesn't mean that I am ignoring anyone; just means that I'm first as well as not saying yes to everything. In the back of my mind is still what to do/not do as it pertains to community service/volunteer work but I haven't forced myself to make a decision. I enjoy most of the other folks that volunteer at CC, enjoy that it's something Tim and I can do as a couple, the money raised is put to good use but truthfully-I HATE how unorganized some events seem. Things not ready, too many chiefs not enough indians.... and I mainly HATE that it's strictly about their charitible organization and never about another charitble event that they might be able to help with. I've played devils advocate many times as to why they can't give of themselves to other events in the area (I can only imagine how many requests they get for money or tickets) BUT they feel it's ok to send an email out requesting CC volunteers to a players charity event that none of the proceeds go to CC but tell me "we can't send an email out for your event because it has nothing to do with CC" I get a lil irritated. I'm sure I'm over reacting (all volunteer organizations have issues) BUT these volunteer activities have caused me some anxiety in the past and I really need me to answer the question "is this something I really want to do?" "Why do I want to do it?" "What is it that I am looking for when volunteering?"
Anyhow I am feeling pretty good about how things are moving this year. But I do wish I could figure out how to not "spaz out" so easily. My expectations of things often do NOT match the outcome. Sometimes I am pleasantly surprised but that really is a rarity. I find that those times that I am pleasantly surprised is because I didn't "dwell" on "anything"....aka I didn't have any expectations on how the outcome would be. I just did what needed to be done.
I wonder if there is a book on how to be more of a "go with the flow" kind of person?