Friday, November 25, 2011

roller coaster ride; no longer feeling "normal"

Please...tell me what the hell "normal" is so that I know if I'm feeling normal or not!!? GRRRR

Well..I stuck to my guns and went NO WHERE for Thanksgiving. I cooked a 13 lb bird for the hubs and I, along with mashed potatoes, dressing, green bean cass, gravy, rolls, and the most amazing eggnog pie. Totally delicious. ALL of IT! and so not WW "friendly". I was such a bad WW follower as I did not write anything down. I DID watch my portions but no writie writie. #badtori

Sticking to my guns comes with consequences and someone has to pay the piper. While I am sure my family is not happy with me for not driving 175 miles to attend their gathering, I don't have to listen to them gripe.  So I'm not really paying the piper.  But I'm afraid that my hubs paid a lil of the price with his mother. Long story short but she felt we should have dropped what I/we wanted and at the very least gone over to his sisters house (who was serving no meat for Thanksgiving anyhow) for at LEAST pumpkin pie. I won't air my dirty laundry here but hubs isn't excited about his sister and a lot of her life choices and was looking for an excuse out of going to his sisters house regardless of what I decided I was doing for Thanksgiving. BUT he would never say that to his mother (ok maybe he would) but regardless, I'm sure she blames me. I'd like to say that I don't really care but I do because NO ONE is taking into consideration my feelings about things, especially holiday gatherings.  BTW-did I mention that this Thanksgiving was one of my FAVORITE Thanksgivings? There was NO DRAMA this Thanksgiving. None... emotions are out of whack (that time of month again??). I'm always feeling frustrated and like "what about me me me?"and lonely...I can't even begin to describe my loneliness. I have such a good life that there is no reason for these feelings. I'm pretty smart too. and such a lucky person. I've overcome so much and can be so giving. But sometimes I feel like IT just isn't enough. What the hell is "IT"? OMG I swear I'm going nuts! grrr.

1 comment:

  1. The holidays are SUCH a loaded time, and the decision not to spend it with family always seems to get taken really personally by the family. My mom is fairly understanding, but my MIL would FLIP if we stayed home. Of course, so would my husband. Lol. I'm glad you guys enjoyed your drama-free Thanksgiving. (And girl, you KNOW the daughter-in-law is going to take the brunt of blame for ANY unpopular decision).

    You sound depressed. I totally know that sad even though you feel like there's no real reason to feel that way feeling. It's awful. I hope it was just one of those "this is what I'm feeling at this moment" sentences and not the trend for you. Are you getting the chance to get out and exercise? That makes such a huge difference in my sense of well-being. Of course, maybe it's just that waiting for the shoe to drop with the family thing that has you unsettled.

    Happy belated Thanksgiving!

    Anyway, happy belated Thanksgiving.