It's been a while since I've felt "normal". And I feel like I can actually stop and take a breathe! Since getting the pup end of July it's been go go go. sigh, inhale, out hale. Don't get me wrong, some "go go go" is good for the soul. But it can be overwhelming. New demands, changes in schedule, attempting to make sure EVERYONEs needs are seen to.
When given the chance I've been doing some thinking. About the future, about the present, about how I can make things better for us. Us as in Tim, the dogs and I. Us as in extended family. Us as in my work family. Us as in my community. I've always known "it" isn't all about me but many times "me" has gotten left behind. Learning better time management has allowed me to put "me" in the "us" and not feel guilty about it. I never liked the feeling of guilt but yet it had become a standard feeling in my life. Some folks were just NEVER happy with what I was doing or had to offer. I won't do it anymore. I never intentionally set out to hurt anyone and if I find that I have hurt someone I will simply apologize and move on. No more "stewing" on the guilt. If the other person wants to hold a grudge it's now on them-not me. I will live as guilt-free as possible these days. I know, a daunting task.
There are many tools available to us all that will help us grow, heal, move on. One of my favorite tools right now is my ipod because I can download pod casts that are upbeat and informative. There is a podcast for organizing and one for motivation that I've been listening to on the way to work. Oh and one on finances (thanks Sarah for introducing me to Dave Ramsey). It's a nice way for me to sort out the "overwhelmingness" that is sure to be waiting for me at work (or even at home if I listen to it on the way home after work). It has also helped me determine what to keep, what to get rid of, what's useful and what is not.
During my journey the last few months I've slightly neglected my food tracking. Man, once to stop doing something it's hard to get back. In the beginning of not tracking I didn't hold myself as accountable as I should have when I would eat. There were a few weeks that I ate a lot of fried foods and bread. Yikers. And yes, the scale noticed it. I'm very thankful that I came to my wits and realized "before it was too late". Granted I'm still not tracking my food on paper but I am being more aware of what I am putting in my mouth. I'm back to making better choices (I've only had fries once this week!) and the scale is rewarding me for it. As life pertains to food and weight I want to make it as "natural" as possible. We ALL know that diets don't work and that life style changes do. Making my life style as healthy and active as possible.
Ok...gotta run...the baby pug wants to eat all the dirt in the back yard and the other just wants to watch!! ugghhhhhh