Saturday, September 25, 2010

Change is a coming...I just pray my marriage will survive!

Yes, change is a coming. Change is inevitable...a person has just got to prepare the best way they can. My world (especially emotional), in my humble opinion, has been in turmoil most of the summer. My husband applied for a promotion within his company and got passed over. Shortly after the passover management approached him and said "we know that you applied for another position (that you didn't get) and we think you would be great for this other position." The position was his, all that was left was for the old boss to release him to the new department and the new department to accept the date of release. Long story short, they couldn't agree on a date (two weeks) so he lost the position. Totally not fair but nothing I (or he for that matter) can do.

Earlier this year (prior to hubs dilemma) I caught wind that so and so was retiring within my organization. I was asked if I would be interested in it and would I be applying. I said "heavens yes, it's what I've been working towards." Between that time (Mayish) and the time the job officially posted (Julyish) many folks were "going to bat for me". I'm not trying to sound conceited but I'm a damn good employee; I work my butt off; I put EVERYONE else before myself. The job posted and I mentioned it to my husband. Mind you he has NEVER applied for any of the other positions I have mentioned before. He got really excited about this job and applied himself. I encouraged him to apply. It would be closer to home. He would have so many more benefits that he doesn't currently have. I figured I could bow out of the running and all would be good in my world.

Bowing out of applying for the job went over like a turd in a swimming pool. I wanted my husband happy but no one was getting that. I know getting this job would make him happy. But the folks who had "gone to bat for me" were not excited to hear that I wanted to bow out (I told them that my husband was applying but they didn't "get it") so I felt obligated to apply (I'm not into burning bridges and sensed that this is what I would have done if I had not applied). I prayed that they would choose him over me because of veterans status. Yes, there was no guarantee that he would get the job had I not applied. But I now wish I would have not applied and found out.

Two weeks ago I was told that I would be splitting my time between my job and the job in which someone is retiring. The list of applicants has been printed but no interviews have been done yet-they are still looking over resumes. Everyone thinks I have the job. I am not so certain; anything is possible and I have been in this position before (applying for a job, doing it and then it going to someone else). My husband is a bit disheartened-he is wondering why apply for something when they already know who they want. I understand where he is coming from (I HAVE been in his shoes). He is a veteran with preference points and is supposed to get more consideration for certain positions (IE governmental positions). I am an existing employee looking at a promotion. Either way the organization could not go wrong with either of us working in that position. I've mentioned to those in a position to hire that my hubs has applied for the position (and yes, stating he would not be a bad choice) on various occasions but I can't make them hire him over nor do I want to burn any of my bridges.

I feel so torn. I wanted this position. I've been working towards a position like this. It would be closer to home, in an organization I love, AND a raise to boot. BUT I would not be upset if they gave the position to someone else...especially someone like my husband. It's been really stressful around here. Hubs says "oh I don't care" but I know he does. I know he is frustrated with work in general...who wouldn't be after losing a promotion because your bosses are dicks and can't comprimise on a release date? But I also feel frustrated because I've worked so hard myself to make myself the best assistant possible. I've lost promotions because of dickhead bosses too. I've applied for hundreds of jobs not to get even an interview.

I've prayed to God for peace on this. I've asked for help to release this and let God do what's best. That's so hard when you look at your husband and see disappointment. Him getting this job would be such a wonderful boost to his confidence and ego. Me not getting this job/promotion would might take some pressure off or at least (maybe) make me feel less of jerk for applying. Stupid politics in the work place. I so wish I had not applied for the position. I think burning my bridges then would have been so much easier than what I am going through right now. There is nothing wrong with my current position. I have an awesome boss and love my current job-I should have left well enough alone!


  1. Wow... that is a dilemma. I do so hope and pray it will turn out. It would be so nice if your hubs got that job!! Sending good wishes your way.


  2. Hmmm. What a difficult situation! Sometimes we just fall into it like that.

    The people doing the hiring may view both a husband and wife vying for the same position as problematic--in other words, a no win situation for the company since no matter who they hire one of the couple will be upset.

    I understand that you wouldn't be upset if they hired your husband, but they may not quite get that. It may feel less difficult to them to just hire someone else entirely. Companies do not like to invite drama. This has drama written all over it.

    The thing is, you are not to blame for the situation. You had no idea your husband would be interested in the position and had already laid the groundwork for yourself. You were committed before you knew not to be.

    You've prayed--God is bigger than cmpany politics or their fear of drama. What should be will be. He has a plan for your lives and will bring it to pass--you can't mess that up; He's bigger than you, too. That's the good news. :)


  3. I hope things work out for you, blogging bud. I hate that you have to deal with such a difficult situation. =( Keep us updated, and I'll be sending you some positive energy!

    <3 Katie