Ten Things Thursdays

1) I’ve become a bit obsessed with “becoming more organized” and “planning”. I’ve always been a clutter bug and used to love to “fly by the seat of my pants”. Not so much anymore…I’ve got calendars EVERYWHERE and panic when I see a pile of things!

2) I’m getting a bit nervous about the financial sit-ye-ation of our surroundings. I’m trying to be more frugal because of all this “financial uncertainty” (that honestly has always been there/here/around us) but struggling to come to terms with “use cash not plastic”. I NEED to write up and stick to a budget!

3) I recently heard on the radio (in reference to the national budget issue) that basically “compromising is for losers”. They need to decide what you want and fight for it. Period. At first I nodded “yeah I can see that” but now I’m not so sure. Those people in DC aren’t fighting for us or our rights or what’s in the best interest of our wonderful nation (I normally don’t talk politics but…)…they are once again thinking about themselves, about what can make THEM more money (you notice they haven’t froze their pay nor offered to take a pay cut but have asked all of us to do so) and about how THEY can put more control/restraints on our lives. So why not compromise and shut up already. I understand that if they make the wrong compromise that they aren’t really solving anything, just prolonging the inevitable but arguing like they are isn’t solving anything either.

4) I also need to stop trying to be a martyr. I’m no Mother Theresa, I will never be Mother Theresa, and sometimes it’s ok for me to tell someone “NO…(I don’t know, don’t have, can’t get it, or won’t give it to you)”…I’m giving others too much emotional power-emotional power that they didn’t even ask to have over me in the first place.

5) While I don’t want to be retired or a stay at home person I’d REALLY like to make my own work schedule. I LOVE my job and LOVE my co-workers; I just wish I could do more work from home.

6) I have doggie anxiety. I don’t like leaving my lil guy at home by himself and we’re bringing another pup home tomorrow night. I sometimes have to drive around the block THREE times just to “make sure” the garage door is down. I’ve even started sending a photo of the closed door to my work email in an attempt to ease my mind. My current lil guy is the only living thing in this world who will listen to me without interrupting, kiss and cuddle when I ask, is so excited to see me when I get home that he whimpers and wags his butt; he loves me with no boundaries and lets me know that on a daily basis. And I have never worried/felt like I didn’t deserve his love.

7) It’s so friggin hot outside. Each year I say “I don’t remember it being this hot last year” even when it probably was. The weather zaps me of any desire to do any real work or exercise or fun project.

8) I just filled out the form for the Cowbell Half Marathon on Oct 2^nd. All I have left to do is write the check (I’m using my birthday money) and mail it. I would have signed up online but I was too cheap to pay the 3.75 fee for doing so. Writing the check saves me $3.25. J

9) I’m afraid I will always think of myself as the fat chick even when I get to my goal weight (which I am 20 to 30 lbs away from). Even after losing 48 plus pounds I still look in the mirror and see fat. It can be a bit overwhelming. The only reason I haven’t given up is because at low points God has a way of presenting me with what I would consider an unhealthy individual (you know the 250 plus gal in tight shorts and a tube top or the one huffy and puffing after a short walk). I’m very glad that they are comfortable and accepting of their size but it’s a great visual motivator for me to attempt to stay on point.

10) I’d really like to take others out of my equation. I don’t want to be a judger of others and what appears to be their life decisions; I don’t want to be an assumer of others and what their life appears to be; I don’t want to be “one of those people” who acts/thinks they are so much better than someone else. Because I’m not and I will never be. I’m so NOT perfect that it tears me up inside and the emotional baggage is often too heavy to carry. I can’t answer for others decisions so why do I use any brain waves considering their life even for a moment!!