Thursday, June 13, 2013

Time just keeps on slippin....

The famous line from the classic song 'Fly Like An Eagle' by Steve Miller that sums up life right now. Or shall I say sums up life for many "middle aged" folks. I remember many times growing up saying "I can't wait until I'm older..." and now that I'm older I wonder what the rush was all about. Life just seems to be going faster and faster; which is good in one sense because it means that I'm not dead yet (or that life has not come to a screeching halt with me preparing for death?). Please don't think of that statement as being morbid...it's just a saying (one that I'm sure we've all said at one time or another). Besides, eventually we will all pass on. I doubt that ANY of us REALLY "wants to die" but it's the "natural process" of "things". Some folks can handle the fact that we will all eventally pass on. Some, not so much. Suddenly they remember "all" of the things they've done thru life-most of which "weren't so perfect". Suddenly they are attempting to make amends, ask for forgivness, and pray that they are "good enough to go with Christ". Someone I love is doing just that. It both confuses and saddens me at the same time. I am a firm believer (these days) that he did the very best he could (at least how it pertains to raising children) with the knowledge he had. I have to believe that in order to have forgiven him for what he put me/us through. I know that no one is perfect and we all have our "crosses" to bear. But to carry our cross as a badge of honor (excuse the analogy) is unacceptable for me. The cross I carry is between me and my God; not me and the world. I will not apologize to just anyone for something I've done that doesn't mesh with "society". If I've hurt someone directly I will apologize once and move on. And to see him struggle hurts my heart. Such a waste of time IMO. Facing the knowledge that you could be sitting outside deaths door is (IMO) not the time to be reminising and beating yourself up for decisions made/done in the past. This time should be used to prepare for what lies ahead, for tests/struggles ahead, to love and celebrate with family/friends, and quite possibly preparing for death.

2 comments:

  1. death is the great equalizer,and it brings out the best in some and the worst in others (preparing for it dealin with it) my grandfathers relatives swarmed us when he died because he made something of himself (they certainly didn't!) and many of them lived in the same county and hadn't visited in years. I broke with southern tradition and ran em off much to my grannys chagrin. lolol

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  2. Sigh...this makes me sad for you and for him. I guess in a lot of ways it's natural to see mistakes so much more clearly when you're afraid you're going to have to pay for them, but like you said, what's done is done and best to make amends as possible and then move forward living in what you have. I hope he can do that. Hugs to you.

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