Ok. I'm calm now. Things have settled in and most payments have been rec'd at their respective places. This coming week I will be making the calls (or sending the emails) to say "thanks for your business but it's time for me to close the account." and cutting up the cards. I can't even begin to tell you how relieved I am. I know that there will be months were funds will be tight (like next few considering I have to put $1700 into fixing my car thus depleting my "Emergency fund") and I will have to say "no" to invites out. I'm good with that because sometimes we have to make sacrifices to get to where (or what) we want. In three years I can start saving for a vacation to either Alaska, Ireland, Italy, or Hawaii.
To help with budgeting I have downloaded an i-tunes app called Cashtrak. It's a very simple app that allows you to input what you spend and on what. It also allows you to upload a photo of the receipt. There is also a spot where you can put how much your monthly budget so that you can do a running total and you can even email yourself a excel spreadsheet of the information you are inputting.
For those of you not living in the Midwest, the weather has been incredibly hot. We hit (made) a ten day record for CONSECUTIVE days over a 100 degrees. How proud I feel to know that we have set such a wonderful record. I try and remind myself that there are worse places to be in the world to live. I keep reminding myself of the men and women overseas living in tents, utilizing port-a-potties and mobile showers (IF their lucky), thousands of miles away from home that would give their right arm to be in my shoes right now. When I remember this I ask for forgiveness for being so selfish.
I haven't mentioned this lately but I am really happy to be in my 40's. I feel as if life has REALLY started. I feel as if I finally woke up and could actually see all the possibilities available to me that I deserve to pursue. I also feel as if each year I age I forgive myself a lil more. Don't get me wrong; I don't feel like I am (or ever was) a bad person. I've just made mistakes; mistakes similar to those you or any other "average" person may have made. The biggest "mistake" I forgive myself for is not being perfect. Despite what I was grilled into my head growing up NOTHING is perfect. Life happens. You do the best you can and move on. Sometimes you repeat a thing or two but who hasn't!
i'm starting to get back to "me" too, i feel like at 39 i lost my mind gave up a GREAT life i loved and dove straight into tartarus, five years later at 44 i have no clue what i'm doin or where i'm headed but i've stopped resenting the "mistake" i made in leaving and i'm allowing/asking spirit to show my why i'm here. i KNOW there's a reason i just have to get out of the way so it can happen! lol
ReplyDeleteSounds like you have a lot on your plate. I look forward to seeing you win your battles ~
ReplyDeleteI love that last paragraph. I know SO MUCH what you're talking about. I like this me so much better than my younger me, who was way too limited by worries about what other people would think or waiting for someone else to take the lead.
ReplyDeleteI'm excited for you with your budget changes and the progress I KNOW you're going to make. What an amazing feeling! My husband gets paid tomorrow and I get paid Thursday, and I'm actually excited to pay bills because I know we have the money to pay them and for once I'm not behind. Now to work on the "getting ahead" part...
I have heard great things about that app. I track our spending in an Excel sheet and it helps so much to be able to see exactly where all your money goes.
ReplyDelete