My Dearest Friend,
1st things first. Your mother would be so proud of you. You've overcome some major obstacles and turned into such an amazing human being. You've never met a stranger and have always been ready to lend a hand-even without being asked. Having you and calling you daughter is an honor she cherishes and every day she smiles down from heaven on you.
2ndly this letter is long over due. I've watched you from the sidelines for years (wishing you would give me a chance to help "squash the rest of your demons") and can no longer sit idle as you waste you time and energy on frivolous "things". You have put SO MUCH energy into "being too fat" that you overlook the obvious. And this is interfering with the rest of your healing and is holding you back from your true potential. You are SO smart yet you doubt your every move and somehow manage to link it back to your weight ('well if you weren't so fat maybe people wouldn't look at you like your stupid!'). You second guess yourself unmercifully and wrongfully get down on yourself for the STUPIDEST things. You strive to do all things "perfectly" in order to please everyone else and continuously sell yourself short because you are not as perfect as "insert someone else's name". NEWS FLASH: there is no perfect-period-get over yourself. And worst of all (IMO), this struggle with your weight (and how you associate it with your short comings) has gone on for so long that you no longer remember you're own greatness (& tenacity) and that "weight is just a number; it doesn't define who you are."
So let me tell you the obvious. And remind you of the truth of your existence...which is not to please OTHERS by the way. You're weight has NOTHING to do with you successes (or failures). You're weight IS just a number on the scale; it does NOT define who you are and/or what you are capable of. You are an amazing person yet you can't see it through your "fat glasses". GAWD how irritating! You are so wonderfully balanced! You're empathetic, genuine, grounded, determined, have a general concern for others well being to name a few. You also typically know your limits and know when you need to step back and let someone else take the lead. And that's why I'm here...I'm here to take the lead....together we are going to move mountains instead of mole hills. Those half marathons you want to run-we're going to grab that bull by the horns and RUN (pun intended)! That foreign language you want to learn-WE'RE going to learn it! Whatever we decide to do, we'll do it to the best of our ability. Sometimes we won't be as successful as we'd like to be but that's ok because we will have tried!
YOUR self confidence
P.S. You won't regret this...promise.