I am a loner. I've always been this way. As far back as I can remember I've had very little problems doing things by myself, for myself.
Don't get me wrong...given the opportunity I will play nice with others and will openly invite others to "tag along" on my journey.
But life for me hasn't always been that way. Having a pal to always do things with. And it wasn't always easy to go off and "do my own thing." But I had no choice. Because depending on someone to would require me to have faith that they wouldn't let me down. Because that happens; people let me down. Sometimes on purpose; sometimes not so much on purpose.
I participated in the Des Moines Half Marathon almost two weeks ago. A Friend of mine was supposed to go with but had to bail at the last minute. I was really disappointed because I'd done something I told myself I wouldn't ever let happen again. I promised myself that I wouldn't get excited that she was going; I wouldn't look forward to having her cheer me on. And I certainly wouldn't be disappointed if she couldn't go. But I went and did it. I was excited and looking forward to the companionship. This would be the first race that ANYONE went specifically to cheer me on. It's really hard to explain. And I felt like an adolescent.
So I drove to Des Moines. Checked into the hotel and picked up my race packet. Then I went to visit my brother, sis in law and nieces. It was a nice visit and the SIL asked about spectators for the race...what they do, where they stand, etc. Never being a specator I really had no idea what to tell her. I was like you make your way to the race course, cheer from the side and hope you see whom your looking for. Or you hang out at the end and meet up....which is what she did....and the girls and my brother did.
The Des Moines Half Marathon itself, words can't fully explain. It is a BEAUTIFUL course. There were athletes of all shapes and sizes, all skill levels. There were plenty of water stations, gu stations, spectators, music. The weather was freaking awesome (started out at 48 degrees and got to 60 by the end of the race). I only heard one snide remark, from a dipshit on the sidelines, stating to those of us at that the back of the pack "see you in 7 hrs". At least I was participating. Many would not have followed through with participation after the summer I had. I participated on no real training. The diehards would shudder at the thought that someone would actually do a half marathon without proper training. I battled Plantar Fasciitis, I battled my confidence, I battled self esteem, I battled the dreaded hormones. But I wasn't backing out; I'd suffer whatever consequences were sent my way. And it was a good Wogg. I'd run a bit, then walk a bit then repeat. I would often say "ok you've run this far, go to the next post." or "Run to the second light" and then make myself go just a lil further past that. My time sucked (3 hrs 17 mins-22 mins slower than the last half) BUT over all it was a real good experience. A road of healing, discovering new products (supplements and the roo pac for running)....