It can be a bit daunting at times...

Not knowing what's next. Not knowing what happened and/or why it even happened. You just know you need to get up every morning, put your big kid clothes on, and march back out there and give it your best shot!



My favorite thing about life is the plain and simple fact that (IMO) each year I get older, I get a little better. Each birthday I get a little calmer and seem to have more patience; even for myself. Each year I become a little more forgiving and not so quick to judge; Even of myself and the mistakes I've made (and continue to make). Each year I get a little stronger, a little more confident, and a little more beautiful (inside and out).



These are things that they don't teach you in kindergarten. They (parents, teachers, and others in our community) may make mention of life getting better with age; but never specifics about what part will get better and what to look for! I guess there's some good to that...if they were specific it wouldn't have been such a pleasant surprise!

staying a float and trucking along...

Boy...it's been a rough few weeks on many levels and I'm happy to have survived. NOt that any of it was life threatening (except maybe the box of Amos cookies). It's just really rough when everything is coming at you and no one to play body guard for you. I think the worse was when some Jack ash called me a fat whore because we were not driving fast enough for him to get through the light. I really hate it when people utilize unnecessary (and uncalled for) name calling. My husband can't believe I'm still torked about it but it really--was that the best the douchebag could come up with?? It just struck a nerve you know. It's like grow up and be a productive person in society not a wart!

I'm happy to report that I've been eating some what like crap (no just kidding-I'm not HAPPY to report but no sense me crying right-I've got bigger fish to fry-like the jack ash who...). I've been uberly motivated in the exercising department for the last 8 days STRAIGHT. I've done about 20 miles of biking and 15 miles of soft jogging/mostly walking. Two of those days I just did a mile or mile and a half BUT I'm hustling. I tried to do a work out video today but it SUCkED BIG ONES. I tried a 10 min Pilate's, sweating to the oldies, and a walking one; I just couldn't get into it. I miss my Bob dvd (BIggest loser Yoga). It's at work. Guess I won't let THAT happen again!

You all got an exciting workout dvd worth looking into?

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words...or seven!

Determining your worth...

It's not about money. It's not about houses. It's not about a career. It's certainly not about who your family is. It's not about trips here or abroad. And It's definitely not about the trinkets or rewards you acquire while on your journey. It's about finding balance. It's about learning limits and the art of compromise. It's about finding you in the mix of all the chaos. And most importantly, it's about acceptance and loving who you are despite that chaos.

I've not always had great self worth. I've often put others needs in front of my own mainly because that is what I was taught (others before thyself). I've not always respected myself, giving freely of EVERY part of my being to scumbags in hopes that they would see I'm worth "it" and opt to stick around in my life. There have been times, in the midst of great chaos, that I've determined that I am not worth "it" so why even bother. Thankfully this is changing.

During my journey I have remembered my strength and acknowledged that maybe I have never lost my strength despite what my alter ego claimed. I am also realizing that my courage never really left either, just took a back seat. It's time for me to dig deep and remind myself of the times I've put my mind to something and accomplished great things.

So it is on this date, the 17th of August 2010 that I declare to myself and the world...