Today wasn't a failure....it's a learning experience
pain only last forever if you let it....and I like not letting it (even though it's really hard letting go).
there is no shame in who I am...and what I am is human.
I have feelings, I'm an emotional being...
I've made mistakes and I'll continue to make mistakes.
Me making mistakes does not make me a malicious person because I'm not making the mistakes out of spike (I just have brain farts now and then!!).
My mistakes are my own; no one else's. I accept that.
Tomorrow is a new day and I will make it my own!
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Thursday, November 1, 2012
One isn't always the loneliest number...
I am a loner. I've always been this way. As far back as I can remember I've had very little problems doing things by myself, for myself.
Don't get me wrong...given the opportunity I will play nice with others and will openly invite others to "tag along" on my journey.
But life for me hasn't always been that way. Having a pal to always do things with. And it wasn't always easy to go off and "do my own thing." But I had no choice. Because depending on someone to would require me to have faith that they wouldn't let me down. Because that happens; people let me down. Sometimes on purpose; sometimes not so much on purpose.
I participated in the Des Moines Half Marathon almost two weeks ago. A Friend of mine was supposed to go with but had to bail at the last minute. I was really disappointed because I'd done something I told myself I wouldn't ever let happen again. I promised myself that I wouldn't get excited that she was going; I wouldn't look forward to having her cheer me on. And I certainly wouldn't be disappointed if she couldn't go. But I went and did it. I was excited and looking forward to the companionship. This would be the first race that ANYONE went specifically to cheer me on. It's really hard to explain. And I felt like an adolescent.
So I drove to Des Moines. Checked into the hotel and picked up my race packet. Then I went to visit my brother, sis in law and nieces. It was a nice visit and the SIL asked about spectators for the race...what they do, where they stand, etc. Never being a specator I really had no idea what to tell her. I was like you make your way to the race course, cheer from the side and hope you see whom your looking for. Or you hang out at the end and meet up....which is what she did....and the girls and my brother did.
The Des Moines Half Marathon itself, words can't fully explain. It is a BEAUTIFUL course. There were athletes of all shapes and sizes, all skill levels. There were plenty of water stations, gu stations, spectators, music. The weather was freaking awesome (started out at 48 degrees and got to 60 by the end of the race). I only heard one snide remark, from a dipshit on the sidelines, stating to those of us at that the back of the pack "see you in 7 hrs". At least I was participating. Many would not have followed through with participation after the summer I had. I participated on no real training. The diehards would shudder at the thought that someone would actually do a half marathon without proper training. I battled Plantar Fasciitis, I battled my confidence, I battled self esteem, I battled the dreaded hormones. But I wasn't backing out; I'd suffer whatever consequences were sent my way. And it was a good Wogg. I'd run a bit, then walk a bit then repeat. I would often say "ok you've run this far, go to the next post." or "Run to the second light" and then make myself go just a lil further past that. My time sucked (3 hrs 17 mins-22 mins slower than the last half) BUT over all it was a real good experience. A road of healing, discovering new products (supplements and the roo pac for running)....
Don't get me wrong...given the opportunity I will play nice with others and will openly invite others to "tag along" on my journey.
But life for me hasn't always been that way. Having a pal to always do things with. And it wasn't always easy to go off and "do my own thing." But I had no choice. Because depending on someone to would require me to have faith that they wouldn't let me down. Because that happens; people let me down. Sometimes on purpose; sometimes not so much on purpose.
I participated in the Des Moines Half Marathon almost two weeks ago. A Friend of mine was supposed to go with but had to bail at the last minute. I was really disappointed because I'd done something I told myself I wouldn't ever let happen again. I promised myself that I wouldn't get excited that she was going; I wouldn't look forward to having her cheer me on. And I certainly wouldn't be disappointed if she couldn't go. But I went and did it. I was excited and looking forward to the companionship. This would be the first race that ANYONE went specifically to cheer me on. It's really hard to explain. And I felt like an adolescent.
So I drove to Des Moines. Checked into the hotel and picked up my race packet. Then I went to visit my brother, sis in law and nieces. It was a nice visit and the SIL asked about spectators for the race...what they do, where they stand, etc. Never being a specator I really had no idea what to tell her. I was like you make your way to the race course, cheer from the side and hope you see whom your looking for. Or you hang out at the end and meet up....which is what she did....and the girls and my brother did.
The Des Moines Half Marathon itself, words can't fully explain. It is a BEAUTIFUL course. There were athletes of all shapes and sizes, all skill levels. There were plenty of water stations, gu stations, spectators, music. The weather was freaking awesome (started out at 48 degrees and got to 60 by the end of the race). I only heard one snide remark, from a dipshit on the sidelines, stating to those of us at that the back of the pack "see you in 7 hrs". At least I was participating. Many would not have followed through with participation after the summer I had. I participated on no real training. The diehards would shudder at the thought that someone would actually do a half marathon without proper training. I battled Plantar Fasciitis, I battled my confidence, I battled self esteem, I battled the dreaded hormones. But I wasn't backing out; I'd suffer whatever consequences were sent my way. And it was a good Wogg. I'd run a bit, then walk a bit then repeat. I would often say "ok you've run this far, go to the next post." or "Run to the second light" and then make myself go just a lil further past that. My time sucked (3 hrs 17 mins-22 mins slower than the last half) BUT over all it was a real good experience. A road of healing, discovering new products (supplements and the roo pac for running)....
Thursday, October 11, 2012
We Weeble and We Wobble but We're NOT Falling Down
I'm feeling a bit ill prepared for the half marathon next week. I've struggled with foot problems all summer and did not seek other avenues to strengthen my legs and lungs (like I should have). I have NO doubt I that I will be able to complete the half marathon; but I do doubt being able to complete it in a better time than my last half marathon (I completed the last half marathon in 2 hrs 55 mins).
I often struggle with confidence and control. One I can influence (confidence) one I can not (control). I just have to remember that I DO deserve happiness, I DO deserve the very best that life has to offer and that just because I can't control when or how it happens I can believe in myself (and what I'm doing) and know that it (happiness, good things, endless possibilities) will eventually happen.
No matter how much we weeble, how much we wobble, we are strong and won't fall down. But you know what, if we do fall down it isn't the end of the world. We'll just havce to pick ourselves up and resume the 'one foot in front of the other".
I often struggle with confidence and control. One I can influence (confidence) one I can not (control). I just have to remember that I DO deserve happiness, I DO deserve the very best that life has to offer and that just because I can't control when or how it happens I can believe in myself (and what I'm doing) and know that it (happiness, good things, endless possibilities) will eventually happen.
No matter how much we weeble, how much we wobble, we are strong and won't fall down. But you know what, if we do fall down it isn't the end of the world. We'll just havce to pick ourselves up and resume the 'one foot in front of the other".
Thursday, October 4, 2012
still kicking...
It's amazing how quickly life moves....you blink and it's a new day. which is a good thing...better than the alternative.
Nothing really new to report or chat about. I've been reading, working, walking, and working some more. My friend and I have started our woggin sundays again! I've done 6 1/2 miles each Sunday and each time my pace speeds up.
The weather is beautiful out and I love being outside during this time. I hope it's nice and chilly in 16 days...when it's time for me to wog the half marathon!
Nothing really new to report or chat about. I've been reading, working, walking, and working some more. My friend and I have started our woggin sundays again! I've done 6 1/2 miles each Sunday and each time my pace speeds up.
The weather is beautiful out and I love being outside during this time. I hope it's nice and chilly in 16 days...when it's time for me to wog the half marathon!
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